the photos

Well, the cat is out of the bag.
It was only a day or two after I said I wasn't going to post them that Alix posted them herself.
And it's was shortly after that, that they were posted to Utah Bride Blog.

And since everyone is now free to give their comments on either blog, I figured I should tell you my thoughts too.

The blogger on Utah Bride said my ring is a green diamond, and then a photographer replied with this..

"I seriously don’t think that’s a “green diamond” though. I think that’s a green amethyst or a aquamarine, depending on the post-processing. I have both stones. They are stunning in images and even moreso in real life. BRAVO to the bride for thinking outside the box and being open to such a thing! They are amazing rings and hold up amazingly well and I totally abuse mine! lol. PS: I love your dress and your husband looks like Mr. Darcy! "

Well. Let me tell you. Its not a Amethyst or a Aquamarine, and it's definitely not a diamond.
My ring is a green sapphire and I adore it. I was actually upset when the pictures came back that my ring in the pictures looked so dull. I am glad everyone else likes it, but it's truly better in person.
On the actual day I'll make sure to get it cleaned before so the pictures can do it justice.

And just so everyone knows, my husband is a real life Mr. Darcy, which makes me one very happy Jane Austen fan.
Except it doesn't take a whole book for him to grow on you, he'd have you by the 1st page.

My dress is from Alysse's Bridal. It was the very first one I tried on, and I fell in love with it even though it was nothing I had ever pictured myself in.
But yes, I was freezing that day. I will be even more cold on my wedding day.
But I refuse to wear any sort of cloak or coat.
I never wanted a winter wedding, I've made plenty of adjustments for the undesired season and even come to embrace it, but covering up my dress is just not something I'm willing to do.

My earrings and bracelet are both from Nordstrom. ( a moment of silence for their upcoming closing)
And my hair pin is actually a vintage brooch from Planted Earth.
I did my own make up, but my hair stylist, Brittany, did my hair.

That is not my real bouquet. My wonderful aunt, who is planning my whole wedding, threw those together last minute and they turned out wonderful! She insists when the professional does it on my wedding day they will look better, but I think they looked great.

I chose Zane's suit. Tuxedos are much too fancy for my taste.
I also chose Zane's long hair, and his scruffy face.
That's how I like him, and that's all there is to it.

Alix is amazing. Often she is much more creative with her photography. She's used donkeys, paper airplanes, and candy of all sorts. And basically, that doesn't fit me.
But she has an ability to sense who I am and be true to Zane and I as a couple, and herself at the same time.
So the pictures ended up perfect.

Except...
I felt ridiculously silly arching my back, knowing I looked nothing like a model in that moment, but it seems to be one of her favorites. A picture I love is actually one of me laughing hysterically coming out of it, which she didn't post. But you will see on here soon enough, or at my reception if you're coming.
Just thought you needed to know I did not, and can not take myself seriously in that photo.

So there it is. My opinion.
I'm still not going to post my own pictures yet. Just doesn't feel right.
2 weeks people, that's all you have to wait.
Assuming you're actually anticipating it.. which you probably aren't, but I'm pretending it's the event of the year. So let me be delusional.

I wanna itch it!

So Zane and I got our "groomals" back, and I am in LOVE.
Alixann Loosle is my photographer, and she is amazing.
I've been blog stalking her for quite some time now, so I was really excited when I had the opportunity to book her for my own wedding.

Having them back has been awesome, and also a small form of torture. I want to share them with everyone!
I'm in no way superstitious, I did not care a lick about Zane seeing me in my dress before the big day. Choosing to do my bridals with Zane is one of the smartest decisions I've made. BUT, I don't feel like I can just pass pictures around of me and my hubby-to-be in the full wedding dress get-up before the actual day.
I mean, I just can't. right?
So here I am. Sitting with an itch I can't scratch.

Sitting with this kid, as we look at our pictures once or twice.
Or maybe four times...

falling apart possibly

Waking up at 6 to loneliness, finals looming around the corner, busy Christmas preparations, a seemingly impossible full recovery from sickness, and planning a wedding I wish was yesterday, has begun to wear my sanity down. 

I think I cried 3 or 4 separate times yesterday. 

10 o'clock today there will only be 20 more days.

They can't pass fast enough.

If in the next 3 weeks you see my crying in my car, don't worry about it.
It's becoming a ritual of sorts.

bought myself a right to a hubby

Eternal happiness has a price people.

And here in Utah County, that price is 50 buckeroos. 

That's a bargin if you ask me.

first look

Zane and I took our "groomals" this weekend. 

(One of the smartest wedding related decisions I've made.) 

Walking down my hallway in my wedding dress, to my future hubby squeezing his eyes shut, felt a little like glorified prom. 

But his reaction made me feel like it was my wedding day. 

one month. 

engaged stuff

Being engaged and planning a wedding are not as fun as the media makes it appear.

They involve stress, frustration, insomnia, fatigue, tears, and more.

But it does have it's upsides, like bridal showers!

I had the my first bridal shower last weekend, and it was lovely. 

I am so blessed to have such a supportive family. Borup and O'Gwin. 

Yes, being engaged does have it's down sides, but let's talk about the upsides too. 

I'm surrounded by loved ones who are excited to celebrate with me, 

I get to enjoy my last moments of not being utterly newly-wed poor, 

and Zane and I get to be silly, flirty, and obnoxiously affectionate before we grow old together and mature into a different kind of love.  

life is good. being engaged is good.

Thanks again to my family for such a wonderful shower last Saturday!

it's a good life

Lets talk about 2 different events that are making me a very happy girl...

A. 
Zane and I got our first wedding gift! Two of my favorite aunts, Launa and Tammy, can't make it to my shower on Saturday, but they save lives for a living so it's okay.
And because they are the best, they still wanted to celebrate with me, so they were kind enough to take me out to dinner. We ate at CPK, and chatted for an hour or so.It was lovely, and on my way out they gave me two gifts to take home to my hubs-to-be to open together.
We were pretty excited. Although my family has been more than helpful already. My parents, and my grandparents have already donated time, gifts, and money into creating my perfect home. This was our first "official" gift, wrapped and all.
It felt like a historical moment, so we took a picture.

A vacuum and comforter have never been so exciting.

And if I look like I've been crying, it's because I had. I was just missing my dad that night, okay?! 

B.

This morning at work I discovered I won this little competition they hold at my job! I was pretty proud, and I went to collect what I thought would be a dinky little prize. It turns out my job is pretty awesome, and I won a $50 gift card to Bed, Bath & Beyond! Hello, that's where I'm registered! 

I am pretty sure it was fate.

And even though I went to work without a lick of make-up on and slicked my hair back, I had to take a picture of this moment.

Needless to say, I'm having a good day. 

Hope you are too!

Blonde Haired Engagements (kind of)

So I'm not sure if anyone told you, but weddings are expensive.
You have a running total you'd like to spend on the whole shebang and you think, "Awesome. I can totally do this."
And then you start making a budget for your expenses, all of which are of course necessities to create your "dream wedding", and then you realize, you're going to have to get a little more realistic...

This is where having your sister take your engagements comes in.
Photographers are ridiculously expensive. So if you only hire a professional one for your groomals, and wedding, you get to save a little money.

I highly suggest asking a family member, if she/he has a good camera and can see because...
A. It's free
B. You get all the copies of all your pictures
C. You get unlimited amount of time to take your pictures. No limit on locations, hours, or outfit changes.
D. You feel super comfortable, so you have a lot of fun the whole time.

And since I've had some requests to get a better picture of the blonde hair, I've decided to share some of the pictures. None of the ones we are actually considering for the announcement, but some of the ones we like just for us.
Maybe another time I will post the contenders for the announcement so I can get some opinions, but as for now, you can enjoy my non-annoucement favorites.
Keep in mind they are still unedited, which is why you get glimpses of my lovely zit. 

He was getting a little tired of the picture taking, so he kept saying "Cheese!" and would smile really cheesy, as seen above. 

It was such a fun day.

So I can admit that the lighting isn't always perfect, and some outfits washed us out more than others, but having Bri take these for us may be the best decision I've made yet. Besides the choosing of companion, of course. 

I am SO SO grateful that I have such a supportive and helpful family during this stressful, but amazing time. 

Bri,

Thank you so dang much for taking time out of your schedule to take all these for us! We had so much fun, and we think you did a great job. 

You're the best sister a girl could ask for! 

I love you.

-Brooke

Not planning my wedding.

I truly hate planning my wedding.
It is not fun.
Planning this wedding makes me feel like I am crazy. Like need to be institutionalized crazy.
My poor fiance is probably wondering what he got himself into...
And my mom probably debates whether or not she is willing to pay for her crazy mean daughter to get married after all.
Did I mention it also makes me mean?
It does.

BUT lucky for me, I have an amazingly talented and cute aunt Rachel who basically has agreed to help me do everything! And by help me, I mean I nod my head yes or no as she makes everything fall into place.
Going over to her house to talk with her was the biggest stress relief you can imagine.
She has basically saved lives.

And while I was over there, my sister and I got to play with some of the cutest cousins in the whole world. Cuter than yours. So I took some pictures.

Same Same!

I hope my babies turn out as cute as miss Megan. 

Making up titles is getting so old

In the past 3 days, I consumed 2 cheese burgers, and 15 chicken nuggets.
Plus, you saw the Reese's Pieces and the Mountain Dew in my last post...

Needless to say, it's got to stop.

Thus, the search for my "hot wedding bod" has begun.

And it started with this...

And I would be lying if I said I didn't truly want to walk out of that grocery store with those pillsbury dough boy holiday cookies. Ya know, the ones that come out every holiday? 

These ones had pumpkins on them. And they were calling me. 

In the end, I made it out without any baked goods, highly caffeinated drinks, or deep fried animal products.